Slashers. Bats. And Spooky Houses.|

Oy, it was such a shanda! I should never buy gribenes from a mohel... it's so chewy!

Fucking A! I'm not even watching Mrs. Doubtfire lol. I'm not even listening to music, can you believe that? The background noise in the bunker today is the Lizzie Mcguire Movie... or maybe it's Hannah Montana? Honestly, I thought those two were the exact same person until the missus told me otherwise.

Whatever.

Tonight's poison is Buffalo Trace, so at least we got something right.

While it is a Friday evening, this is not the Friday Night Misery. No, as part of the Litererary Dumpster Fire, I wanted to share some of the beautiful trash I've reading lately, just in case you guys wanted to go dumpster diving with me. So, without further ado...

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I'm only fifty pages in, but holy shit, am I getting massive Scream 3 vibes. First off: Ride or Die, bitches. If you're not a fan of the slasher genre, then unsubscribe from my blog right meow. I don't want any half-steppers in my crew. The Woman in Black was just the first of many slashers to come.

But Smile for the Cameras is what's getting me on the gravy train of Miranda Smith, who--according to her sick ass website--writes about "complicated women, dark impulses, and Southern settings."

The official tagline for this book is: An actress desperate to reclaim her fame must ssurvivethe real-life plot of the horr movie that made her famous in this psychological twisted locked-room thriller.

Okay, so it's not totally Scream 3, but it's got the horror-movie-within-a-horror-fiction trope and a final "It Girl" coming out on top (I hope), so what more could you ask for?

I love a good slasher. Then again, what do I know? I consider Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhatten to be the best cinema of all time.

Like I said, I am only fifty pages in, but so far it's well-written. The chapters swap between "Then" and "Now," and even has snippets of a movie script. Check it out!

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Riddle me thi: What happens when you let John Jackson Miller cook in the Tim Burton Batman Universe?

You get two awesome fucking sequels, that's what.

In this direct follow-up to Batman: Resurrection, Batman: Revolution takes place not long after the evenets of the first book and introduces The Riddler, along with a few others from Batman's classic Rogues Gallery.

I'm not going to spoil it too much, but if you grew up with Michael Keaton as your Dark Knight, then this is the exact nostalgic fix you need. The novel even drops some heavy teases for Batman Returns, featuring Max Shreck and Selina Kyle.

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Oh, fantastic. These kids are exactly the kind of catalyst we need to awaken the spirits of Hell House.

Sorry.

Wrong reference.

But Scary Movie 2 did use The Haunting of a Hill House as a heavy reference, and fun fact: it is also one of the main inspirations for Grayson's next book, The Woods (or so we thought... currently, that's just the working title, thanks a lot for stealing our thunder, Harlan Coben).

Currently, I'm only 40 pages in. Only two of the guests have actually arrived at the house, but so far, I'm hooked. And if you're not into reading—which, let's be real, in this fast-food economy, nobody is anymore—then you should probably at least check out the Netflix series.

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As for the next novel, I'll let Grayson Ford give you the official update before he retreats back into his cave. There are also some major changes coming to the website pretty soon, so stay tuned.

Until then,

Focker, out.