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Oy, it was such a shanda! I should never buy gribenes from a mohel... it's so chewy! Fucking A! I'm not even watching Mrs. Doubtfire lol. I'm not even listening to music, can you believe that? The background noise in the bunker today is the Lizzie Mcguire Movie... or maybe it's Hannah Montana? Honestly, I thought those two were the exact same person until the missus told me otherwise. Whatever. Tonight's poison is Buffalo Trace, so at least we got something right. While it is

Welcome back to the Monday Morning Madness. If you’re reading this, congratulations—you survived another weekend without accidentally joining a cult or eating a Tide Pod. Unless you're Boston. JEE-ZUS! What the fuck?! How the hell do you blow a 3-1 lead? Orlando, I can understand. It's Orlando. But come on. Whatever. I'm not a sports journalist. I'm not even a writer; I just play one on the internet for legal purposes. You guys like how I opened with an out-of-date reference

¿Cómo están, Bitches! Spanish Language News (Monday Morning Madness) is here! The song playing is "Small Town" by John Mellencamp. The station is set to WKIT -- Brewer. Bangor. Maine. (seriously, if you aren't listening, then you are failing at life) The drink? Folgers Classic Roast. It’s hot, it’s cheap, and I haven't tainted it with any of that "pumpkin spice" bullshit. Like my whiskey, I prefer my coffee neat. Sugar-free and black, just like my heart. (Muhahaha! ) What a

“Good evening. This is off our first record. Most people don’t own it.” Ha! Fuckin’ A! I got Nirvana Live and Unplugged on the turntable and it’s “About a Girl.” (Literally. I love you, Babe!) Now, without further ado, I like to welcome you guys to the first ever Literary Dumpster Fire. We’re officially at the halfway mark editing my second novel, The Street King, and I wanted to touch base with the many fans I am currently dripping with. I also want to give my editor, Iri

Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff. I got Wild Turkey on the rocks and “Mixed Emotions” by Kaleo on the turnta ble. Let’s get nuts (cheers!) … Look, I’m not a smart man. I’m sure you’ve already figured that out. It’s officially been one month since the release of The Woman in Black and I’m closing in on 75 copies being sold. Mostly E-book. Mostly free, as it was during the free promotional period. But that’s neither here nor there. Do I wish the story was perfect? Absolutely. Are the

I am pleased to announce the arrival of The Woman in Black. Click photo to buy the damn thing. You need a spooky season read. You won’t...