The Literary Dumpster Fire

Come gather round people, wherever you roam, for the times are changing. Or something like that. I don’t know. Legally, that’s all I’m allowed to sing before I have to cut a royalty check. But would you look at the NBA people? Oh Geez. Ja Morant to the Blazers. LaMelo to the Wolves. Lebron to AARP. Like seriously, forget the age — how many teams has this sonofabitch played for? Does he have more teams than rings? Meanwhile, the Spurs signed Tobias Harris and all we got was a

Oy, it was such a shanda! I should never buy gribenes from a mohel... it's so chewy! Fucking A! I'm not even watching Mrs. Doubtfire lol. I'm not even listening to music, can you believe that? The background noise in the bunker today is the Lizzie Mcguire Movie... or maybe it's Hannah Montana? Honestly, I thought those two were the exact same person until the missus told me otherwise. Whatever. Tonight's poison is Buffalo Trace, so at least we got something right. While it is

“Good evening. This is off our first record. Most people don’t own it.” Ha! Fuckin’ A! I got Nirvana Live and Unplugged on the turntable and it’s “About a Girl.” (Literally. I love you, Babe!) Now, without further ado, I like to welcome you guys to the first ever Literary Dumpster Fire. We’re officially at the halfway mark editing my second novel, The Street King, and I wanted to touch base with the many fans I am currently dripping with. I also want to give my editor, Iri